k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
