You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
