There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
