i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
