The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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