I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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