OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
