i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
