it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
