My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
