how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
