everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize