i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
