He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
