He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
