vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize