I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Ladies don't puke and tell
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
