i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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