we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
