So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I AM VODKA MAN
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
