what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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