omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
