So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
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You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
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I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you