We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”