Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.