What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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