its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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