she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
