Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.