I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways