Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth

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(740): View more from Ohio

he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?

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(214): View more from Texas

someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet

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(269): View more from Michigan

Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(720): View more from Colorado

Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.

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(949): View more from California

Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym

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(562): View more from California

I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.

(416): View more from Toronto

You are not an adult

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(509): View more from Washington

There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

you mean still drunk

(203): View more from Connecticut

I've heard it both ways

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