That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
meet me or not, i'm out of control
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.