you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND