I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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