Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
