Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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