I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
