why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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