ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
