At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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