At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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