You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
