people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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