we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
