Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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