Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
