Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
