you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Randomize
