haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I need moral support for this bender
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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