i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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