Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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