Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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