Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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