They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize