so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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