And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
