ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
