I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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