Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Dick very happy bro
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
