In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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