Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
