so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
two words: eviction party
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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