I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
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Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
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Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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