Grow some girl-balls and come out already
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
