TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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