So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
