My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
